Nine Months

So i've come to realize that i have nine months! My mind is racing, i lay awake at night sweating (quite possibly that's just the heat), all i can do is discuss it with my friends and i'm scared to death of the impending date.

October 15th, how quickly it is going to come. It seems like yesterday that i was starry eyed, inexperienced and frightened of the future. Now everything comes easy, i scoff at the men who harass, i'll board any bus, i take every challenge head on.

I feel like all the weight of the world is on me. Who in the real world would ever consider hiring someone like me? Where am i going to live? Am i going to be able to afford a safe, reliable car? Will I fit into society or has this experience turned me into a social misfit destined to be scrutinized and mocked by a once inviting peer group?

I dream of all of the creature comforts, i think of them all the time. Thoughts of all the things i can't have; cookie dough ice cream with a side of fried dill pickles and ranch dressing, late night Sports Center and mid-day Oprah shows, pitchers of cold beer at the bowling alley, the list goes on and on.

I know i need to get in shape, it's now time to take care of my body. I recognize that if i'm not careful all the impending binge eating back home is going to do some major damage to a once mighty temple (okay, average at best...but still), adding to my further being ostracized from society.

I know i'm just talking about moving back to the U.S. but this must be what an expectant mother feels like, right? I mean, sans the swollen breasts, but close......